Monthly Archives: January 2014

Cats’ Laws of Physics

1. Law of Cat Inertia…A Cat at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2.Law of Cat Magnetism…All blue blazers and black sweaters attract Cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

3. Law of Cat Thermodynamics…heat flows from a warmer entity to a cooler entity, except in the case of a Cat, in which instance all heat flows to the Cat.

4. Law of Resistance… A Cat’s resistance varies in proportion to a human’s desire for it to do something.

5. Law of Space Utilization…All bags and boxes in a given environment must contain a Cat within the shortest possible period of time.

6. Law of Liquid Movement Probability…If not restrained, a Cat will drink its weight in milk just to show you it can.

7. Law of Material Degeneration…A Cat’s propensity to scratch furniture, curtains, and down comforters is directly proportional to the object’s cost.

8. Law of Cat Energy…A Cat’s energy and attention will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a body expends in trying to interest it in anything.

9. Law of Mass Rejection…Any pill given to a Cat contains sufficient mass and energy to reach escape and orbit velocities.

10. Law of Cat Matter…A Cat is composed of matter + anti-matter + it doesn’t matter.